THE MAN WHOSE PEN WOKE THE WORLD TO AFRICA: A EULOGY FOR A LITERARY ICON: PROF. CHINUA ACHEBE (1930-2013)

Prof Achebe at different stages in life

My father is a great man. The realization only hit me recently when I remember how much my turbulent childhood contributed to who I am today. My father, though difficult is a great man for many reasons, principal of which is the stern and academic upbringing I received. My father's intellect has always been a wonder and today, I'm proud that some of that intellect flows in my veins. I was introduced to the world of books at a very young age - first by sight. My father possessed a personal library that was the envy of many - a habit he developed at a young age so at a young age, crammed books inside a bookshelf made of wood and glass in our sitting room was a familiar sight.

The books in that shelf were on various topics ranging from mathematics, economics and literature. I remember vividly seeing a red hardcover volume of one of Adam Smith's books. There were volumes of books by Karl Marx, Maxim Gorky; there were others by Niccolo Machiavelli, Gustav Sandgren, most of which I cannot remember now . The literary section boasted of many classics such as William Golding's Lord of the Flies; DH Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover, Graham Greene's The Heart Of The Matter, Frederick Forsyth's autobiography on the Biafran Warlord titled Emeka, Dale Carnegie's Lincoln The Unknown, volumes of Harold Robbins amongst others too numerous to mention. There also was a tidy spread of James Hadley Chase which were pilfered over time - in fact, most of these books are missing now; something I regret deeply.

My younger brother and I got to discover the hard way how important this bookshelf was. We were engaged in our usual "rough play" when we crashed the glassy display of the wooden bookshelf. That day, the harmless-looking "koboko" which hung quietly in my father's bedroom had a taste of our flesh for the first time - my father was a firm believer in Solomon's sagely proverb of "spare the rod and spoil the child".

A larger section of the bookshelf was devoted to African writers which included Ngugi wa Thiong'o, Ferdinand Oyono, Camara Laye, Okot p'Bitek, Cyprian Ekwensi, Elechi Amadi, Chukwuemeka Ike, Wole Soyinka amongst others too numerous to mention. However, my father's favorite was his Chinua Achebe collection; he bought every one of his books that was available in print. That was how I got to know of the man. My first read was Chike And The River which was a recommended text in primary schools at the time. From then on, I attempted to read Things Fall Apart which was a popular TV series aired frequently but being a kid, I lost interest as the book was quite complex.

Achebe in 1958

I encountered Chinua Achebe in secondary school once again as Things Fall Apart was a recommended text. After reading the book and the heavy analysis of the book that followed as a literature student, I didn't wait for any further recommendation as I read voraciously No Longer At Ease, Arrow of God, A Man Of The People, Girls At War in quick succession during my spare time. By this time, I was totally convinced that Achebe was the greatest African writer ever after having read my fair share of the different African authors; a sentiment shared by Simon Winder, publishing director at Penguin. I wanted to be a writer just like him but it was a fancy that passed too quickly, just like my drawing skills which were heavily frowned upon. My fate was sealed by an unchecked admiration I expressed as a youngster for brilliant lawyer, Mr Matlock in the old sitcom, Matlock.

Over the years, as my mind matured, I began to appreciate fully the man, Chinualumogu Albert Achebe. He was born in 1930, in Ogidi, Eastern Nigeria, which is now part of Anambra State. He was awarded a scholarship and attended University of Ibadan where he studied English, History and Theology. After his studies, he was employed by the Nigeria Broadcasting Service as a scriptwriter. His first novel Things Fall Apart, the title of which comes from Yeats's poem "The Second Coming", has gone on to sell more than 10million copies and has been translated into more than 50 languages was already in the works when he went to England and was finally published in 1958. It was an instant hit in the literary world. Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka spoke of the book in glowing terms as the "first novel in English which spoke from the interior of an African character rather than . . . as the white man would see him".

Prof Achebe with Nelson Mandela

No Longer At Ease was published in 1960 and was closely followed by Arrow Of God in 1964.
Achebe's writing skills is without doubt one of the greatest to have graced literature. Asides being a novelist, he was a poet, children's writer, critic, editor and essayist. Achebe took his skills further and became a voice for black Africa. Nelson Mandela said that Achebe "brought Africa to the rest of the world" and called him "the writer in whose company the prison walls came down".

His essay, An Image of Africa: Racism in Conrad's Heart of Darkness (1975) on Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness in which Achebe argued that Joseph Conrad was a racist despite his disposition towards colonialism has been the catalyst for intellectual discuss on the subject ever since. In his words;

"I felt it was my duty as an African writer to reflect on the work of Conrad. But I won't return there although I am pleased it sparked so much discussion. It is good to show in stark outline what the real situation is, what the person at the other end of the whip is feeling. But I also understood that I must get on with my work and not dwell on one subject or book."

Achebe's Anthills Of The Savannah was published in 1987 and was shortlisted for the 1987 Booker prize. It dealt with the military regime that ran a west African republic. His final legacy to the literary world and Nigeria particularly was released last year and was the cause of much furor in political and ethnic circles. In There Was A Country: A Personal History Of Biafra, Achebe gave a passionate and personal account of the events that culminated in the nation's civil war of 1967 to 1970 - the devastation that it left in its wake and his disgust that Nigeria with all her potential has become a cesspool of corruption and injustice as a result of mediocre and selfish leadership. In this book which took the literary iroko some 40 years to compile, I had a glimpse of a man who was bitter about the failure Nigeria had become especially as hopes were high after her independence from Britain in 1960. It occurred to me that Achebe was saddened by the fact that he would never live long enough to see the Nigeria of his dreams rise from the abyss she had been plunged into by successive failures in leadership.

His foray into politics was brief; he joined People's Redemption Party at the end of the war and withdrew as he found that "the majority of people … were there for their own personal advancement"; a statement that still rings true today, thus his devotion to the academia.

An unfortunate accident in 1990 paralysed him from the waist down and forced his move to the US where he died. He expressed his longing to return home when he said in 2007; "I miss Nigeria very much. My injury means I need to know I am near a good hospital and close to my doctor. I need to know that if I went to a pharmacist the medicine there would be the drug that the bottle says it is..." - this in itself is a testament to the rot that has pervaded Nigeria as we know it today.

His disappointment at leadership in Nigeria led him to reject twice, attempts by the Nigerian government to confer on him national honours of Commander of the Federal Republic, first in 2004 and in 2011. He expressed his alarm and dismay at the political wranglings especially in Anambra, his home state that seemed determined to "turn my homeland into a bankrupt and lawless fiefdom". He said in response to the attempt to confer him with national honours in 2004;

"I am appalled by the brazenness of this clique and the silence, if not connivance, of the presidency … Nigeria's condition today under your watch is, however, too dangerous for silence. I must register my disappointment and protest by declining to accept the high honour awarded me in the 2004 honours list."

Prof Achebe's other books include Girls At War And Other Stories (1972), Christmas in Biafra (1973) which won the Commonwealth poetry prize, The Trouble With Nigeria (1983) and numerous scholarly and widely published essays. Until his death at the ripe age of 82 yesterday, he was
a David and Marianna Fisher University Professor and professor of Africana studies in Brown University. He is survived by his wife, Christie; four children and six grand children.

Prof Achebe who is widely regarded as the father of African literature lived a full life and is a rare and irreplaceable gem who stood firm for what he believed. In the words of my brother who, like me was influenced by him;

"He was one of a kind, a giant of no small means, a warlord whose weapons were gold-plated in words, a gentleman with a godly demeanor, an advocate of knowledge and peace, he was all that an established man is, that a visionary should aim to be...one of Nigeria's greatest losses yet." 

In celebrating his life, let us remember and emulate what he stood for. He was a man of incredible genius, indefatigable energy and impeccable integrity who defended Africa with the pen. He had an undying belief in the greatness Nigeria could be; a hope we all must keep alive.

It is for this reason that I salute my father who introduced me to the world of this great man who inspired me, whose literary shoes can never be filled. May the solace of heaven provide you in no small measure, the peace that the deplorable state of Nigeria denied you for years.

Malcolm O. Ifi.

I am on twitter @saymalcolm

CELEBRATING MEDIOCRITY IN NOLLYWOOD

I must admit that I'm yet to recover from the #MyOgaAtTheTop saga despite the misfortune that followed. #MyOgaAtTheTop has developed into a sort of movement with branded T-Shirts to commemorate one of the worst instances of mediocrity in recent times. I must say I sympathize with Mr. Shem and his family for the infamy that his performance on Channels TV got him last week and the subsequent disciplinary action that followed.

However, my sympathy does not go beyond that. Nigeria is where she is today because mediocrity reigns supreme. For too long have we pampered mediocrity - a slow but powerful virus that has gradually turned Nigeria into an empty shell; mediocrity has fed on the hospitality of its hosts and has bred corruption which is determined to finish the job.

Unfortunately, mediocrity has replicated itself in every possible human endeavor in Nigeria. This has never been truer with Nollywood in focus. I used to be a fan of the Nigerian movie industry; a big fan. In the days of the Village Headmaster, Cock Crow At Dawn, Things Fall Apart - eons ago when the people in charge were interested in the content of a production.

Then there came Checkmate, Fuji House of Commotion and the likes - brilliant series that I never missed. Then we ventured into movies or "home videos". I watched Living In Bondage, Oracle, Violated amongst others and somewhere along the line, I grew up but the movies didn't grow so I abandoned them the way a child abandons childish habits.

The truth is Nollywood as a whole has refused to grow. Yes, there has been real decent efforts in recent times by some actors/actresses who rose out of the rot to give Nollywood a new face but alas, the mediocrity that had quietly infected the nascent industry had spread like a malignant virus and had eaten so deep that we started seeing remakes of America movies like Two Can Play That Game to the outrightly ridiculous movie titles of Beyonce Vs. Rihanna, Blackberry Babes and the likes.

While movies initially were strictly for entertainment, they have graduated world over as modes for education, information and positive re-orientation. In Nigeria, the most suitable description for Nollywood movies are societal mirrors. The mediocrity displayed from the plot, dialogue and direction of the movie is the reality on ground in Nigeria. A look at the way government is run is a testimonial to this fact.

I have been wrongly accused as unpatriotic by many because of my view on most Nollywood movies; that they engender mediocrity. In my travels across different states in Nigeria, I have come to find that majority of the people I have interacted with who live and breathe Nollywood have a serious gap in the way they reason, the way they react and the way they speak. This is simply because Nollywood doesn't teach you anything novel. Its always about the same babalawo, the same prostitutes, the same blackberry girls, the same criminals, the same yahoo boys, the same ritualists - nothing new to challenge your mind to think differently. How someone can sit through a one hour, thirty minutes movie that has Parts One to Five - stories that shouldn't have gone beyond Part One is beyond me. From terrible scripts with terrible dialogues, it feels like a conspiracy to propagate and perpetually subjugate the Nigerian masses in mediocrity.

What prompted this muse is the trailer for two new Nollywood movies I happened upon; Room 027 and Bold 5 Babes. The two movies show a paradigm shift and it appears the Ogas at the top have devised a new strategy to sell CDs by the inclusion of highly-charged, sex scenes. This would appear to be a quick-fix or short-cut approach if the plot and dialogue has not improved in any way. The surprising aspect of all this is that even if there is no improvement, it will be a big hit because in today's world, sex sells.

It raised questions in my head because recently, some Nigerian musicians had their musical videos banned by the National Broadcasting Commission (NBC) because the girls that appeared in them showed too much skin. If the National Film and Video Censors Board (NFVCB) okayed these movies, wouldn't it amount to double standard in the face of NBC's ban?

This is what you get when mediocrity is the elephant in the room; when it is ubiquitous; when mediocrity is the OGA AT THE TOP!

NB: For those interested in seeing the clips, visit http://industreetmusic.com/home/?p=1369 for downloads.
Warning: PG13!

Malcolm O. Ifi.is on twitter @saymalcolm

THE NSCDC GAFFE: A BREATHER FROM THE HARSH REALITY

The Nigerian sense of humour is a unique one and is definitely one of the reasons Nigeria has continued to thrive in the midst of dire economic crisis, crippling underdevelopment, unchecked corruption, misrule occasioned by mediocrity in governance and an abject lack of basic social infrastructure.

Our satirical humor which in recent times preys on our seeming inability to get a few good men at the helm of affairs has been a constant source of comic relief as her leaders stroll from one gaff to another; the most recent being Mr President's interview with CNN's Christian Amanpour.
That being said, the events of tuesday's highly infuriating presidential pardon handed to one of Nigeria's most notorious political bandits, Diepreye Alamiesiegha whose infamy is still a tale of legend as he managed to hoodwink the London Metropolitan Police who were hot on his trail. He achieved this feat by dressing up like a woman and making a great escape back to Nigeria after he was caught with about a million pounds in cash.

The former Bayelsa State governor was eventually cornered by the EFCC and did time in jail after he pleaded guilty to the charges leveled against him. The outrage that followed his pardon isn't without base as it makes mockery of the efforts of the EFCC in its war against corruption and signifies pointedly that despite Mr. President's rhetoric on how "Nigeria is winning the war on corruption", he is quite satisfied with the status quo ante. As matter of fact, it is apparent now that the mantra of this administration is "be a militant and get paid", "loot public treasury and be guaranteed a soft landing", "be a criminal and get pardoned" while graduates who spend years in tertiary institutions trying to make something of out of themselves join the ever-increasing crowd of the unemployed.

In dealing with a Nigeria like this where governance defies all forms of logic, where the system is a total failure, it takes the grace of God to remain sane and law abiding. Thus came a fresh gaffe! On monday morning, Channels TV conducted an interview with the Lagos State Commandant of Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps, NSCDC, Obafaiye Shem on a fact finding mission in a bid to expose job racketeering which has become a phenomenon within government agencies and parastatals.

The interview session turned into a comic session as the commandant couldn't answer correctly and articulately the simple question of telling Nigerians the website of the NSCDC. It was glaring that Obafaiye Shem did not know the NSCDC website when he made reference to "Oga at the top".

His gesticulations and mannerisms based on his obvious discomfort at being caught unawares was a sight to behold. He displayed a wry smile as he tried to wiggle his way out of the question but his interviewers had him cornered. When he finally saw there was no way out, he made an attempt.

Channels TV Presenter: "If you want to know about the NSCDC, what website do you go to?"
Commandant: "Ok...if you want to know about NSCDC, as at now."
Channels TV Presenter: "Exactly!"
Commandant: "Ok, ww dot nscdc...so *coughs* that's all."
Channels TV Presenter: "That's it?"
Commandant: "Yeah."


I laughed myself to a stupor when I saw the expression on the faces of the presenters who fought the good fight not to burst into laughter. What was even funnier was the expression on the face of the Commandant who knew they knew he'd left out something and in an attempt to end all further inquiries was the finality with which he said, "that's all".

The video went viral on the social media and since that time, its spread has been on hyper-drive with an overdose infusion of Nigerian humour to almost every Nigerian active on social media to lull the dismay at Mr President's most recent action. Our unique sense of humour added several other dimensions to this recent gaffe as the phrases "Oga at the top" and "that's all" caught on and are now the new cliches.

Even though we make light of what is a most expensive joke; a clear evidence of the mediocrity that riddles governance and government agencies in Nigeria, what else can we really do but laugh?

Really?

NB: By the way, a white smoke finally appeared at the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican late yesterday to announce the successful election of a new pope. The new "Oga at the top" is Argentine Cardinal, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, now His Holiness Pope Francis.
And yes! "Oga at the top" has come to stay...deal with it! That's all!!
(˘̯˘ )

Malcolm O. Ifi.
I am @saymalcolm on Twitter

THE POTENTIAL CLASSIC THAT TURNED OUT TO BE JUST THAT!

Lionel Messi

Never say never!

In my last post about the first leg of the UCL round of 16 knock-out stage fixture between AC Milan and Barcelona, I suggested that it would be unwise to write off Barcelona in the second leg. What I did not forsee was the ruthless efficiency and totally brutal manner in which the Catalans would dispatch their quarry. I had expected a hard drawn battle that could have gone either way. Apparently, the Catalans were deeply incensed by their woeful performance at the last meeting and came at their visitors like wounded lions.

The Catalans were favorites to exit the UCL after a 2-0 loss at the San Siro but completely turned the tables around hammering the Rossoneri 4-0 to become the first ever team to advance to the quarter-finals of the UCL from that first-leg scoreline with such a display that left no doubt in the minds of anyone that they are without doubt, the best team in the world with one of the most potent strike forces ever seen in the history of the game.

It was Lionel Messi once again who inspired his team to a well-deserved victory by opening the flood gates of goals after a dismal performance in the first leg. His fifth minute strike was nothing short of pure class from a delicious one-two pass between him and Xavi that left Abbiati completely immobile - his second fastest goal in UCL history coming behind his fourth minute strike against Basel in 2008. His second goal which came a few seconds after Niang beat Valdez only to hit the wood work, put Barcelona on aggregate a few minutes before the interval.

The 25 year old Argentine has now scored a whopping 33 goals in 32 UCL appearances in the last three years and is now the second highest goal scorer in the history of the Champion League with 58 goals passing Dutchman, Ruud van Nistelrooy's 56 goals and now trails the Spaniard, Raul Gonzalez who has 71.
David Villa who was quiet for the most part of the game extended the lead a few minutes into the second half after another sumptuous pass from Xavi which he finished beautifully.

It became clear that the park-the-bus tactic which worked so well at the San Siro had to be discarded as Coach Allegri responded by introducing Robinho and Muntari into the fray in place of Niang and Ambrosini. The changes seemed to balance the game as the Rossoneri finally found a bit of possession but they lacked potency upfront to deal the fatal blow of a goal that would have sent Barcelona packing based on the away goal rule. With a few minutes to go, it was a done deal when Alba handled a brilliant pass from Sanchez and slotted it past Abbiati.

Barcelona, with the superb and out-of-this-world talent of Lionel Messi is now seeking its fourth UCL title in eight years and is aiming for its sixth Spanish title in nine seasons.

What a team!

Malcolm O. Ifi.
Photo Credit: The Internet

PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF TIME

I received a mail from my dad yesterday and after going through it, I thought it would be nice to share it for the sagely insights that may be of help to you as it is to me.

Enjoy!

"The greatest mistake anyone can make is when they believe that what they can do now can be better done in the future and so refuse to do it. The future begins with now and whatever you cannot begin now cannot be accomplished in the future.

According to John Mason, "the best time to begin is now and the best place to begin is where you are". Do not hope to have a better time than what you have now. Any time that is not utilized is a waste and cannot be retrieved And so the advice is "Do not procrastinate for procrastination is the thief of time".

Again, John Mason believes that "you can't know what you can do until you try". He insists that "the most important thing about reaching out your dream is starting right where you are". And there is no disagreeing with Edward Hail when he said, "I cannot do everything but I still can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something I can do".

Finally, Time is a gift from God and God does not want you to waste it. Every moment of your life counts. Don't waste your time complaining about what you don't have. Do business with the little you have. Don't waste your time grieving over the mistakes of the past. Begin anew and do better. Time wasted is opportunity forfeited. Time wasted is talent neglected. And to God be the glory if you are able to relate the above piece to your life."

Malcolm O. Ifi.

My OPINION ON TUESDAY'S UCL FIXTURE BETWEEN MANCHESTER UNITED AND REAL MADRID

I decided not to blog about Tuesday's match because I kind of figured lots of bloggers would do so. Honestly, I didn't because I was depressed at what I saw as an attempt by the referee Cuneyt Cakir to truncate Manchester United's attempt to advance to the next stage of the UEFA Champions League. In case you haven't realised, I am a die-hard Manchester United fan and while what I am about to write may pass off as the unobjective perspective of a disgruntled fan, I must point out that I am not a sports reporter. Thus, I am free of any encumbrance that checkmates any emotional outburst that applies to sports reporters.
That being said, I would like to commend the tactical effort of Sir Alex Ferguson and the business-like attitude with which the United squad approached the game. Read Madrid coach Jose Mourinho was right when he said the world would be focused on the highly anticipated encounter between two of the most successful football clubs in world history. United went into the game with the awareness that their work which began at the Bernabeu was only half done courtesy a goal from Danny Welbeck.
Sir Alex Ferguson's line up came as a shocker as he left out Shinji Kagawa and Wayne Rooney out on the bench after an awe inspiring performance at the Premier League match against Norwich City where Kagawa became the first Asian player to score a hat trick in the League. However, the line up proved to be tactically effective as they matched the star-studded Madrid side blow for blow despite conceding possession which was expected considering the pedigree of the Madrid side.
Considering how the game went in the first half, it looked like master tactician Jose Mourinho had no reply to the game plan of Sir Alex Ferguson which was to soak up pressure and catch Madrid unawares on the break. For that reason, Sir Alex paraded a speed laden attack force that comprised of Nani, Danny Welbeck and veteran Ryan Giggs with Robin Van Persie upfront. This yielded result with United getting a goal at the early minutes of the second half. At that point, the odds favoured United to go through having bagged an away goal the Bernabeu.
As it is with football, an erroneous decision was all it took to turn the tide. Nani was sent off for a seemingly innocuous challenge on Alvaro Arbeloa. I was stunned at the harsh decision of Turkish referee Cuneyt Cakir to deliver a straight red rather than a yellow for what was an attempt by Nani to control a long pass in which Arbeloa carelessly barged into and got a kick in the process.
I understand that the rules state that any form of dangerous challenge which occasions harm on the opposing player merits a red. What I don't understand is how Nani got a red when he merely attempted to control a loose ball. It wasn't a challenge and it could be fairly assumed that he had no idea that Arbeloa would barge in on him the way he did. Unfortunately, Cuneyt Cakir didn't possess the much needed sensibility to understand that a yellow card would have sufficed.
Things spiraled out of control for United from there when Mourinho took advantage of the gaping hole and brought in Luka Modric whose brilliant goal pretty much sealed the deal for Madrid as it became apparent that United couldn't keep up with 10 against Madrid's rampaging 11. The United side, despite being a man down, put up a spirited display but it was the ex-United player Cristiano Ronaldo who put the nail on United's coffin with his brilliant finish from the wonderful interplay between Mezut Ozil and Gonzalo Higuain.
While, I won't attempt to take anything out of the sound tactical changes Mourinho made, I maintain that the turkish referee totally ruined the dynamics of the game. It would appear that the 36 year old referee who is an insurance agent is quite fond of waving cards after it was found that he hasn't refereed a single game without booking players this year. Last saturday, Cakir showed showed six yellow cards in a game between Akhisar Beledi and Elazigspor in Turkey. Similarly, a week earlier, he booked five players and sent one off in Gaziantepspor's win over Bursaspor. A Turkish journalist confirmed that he has been the source of controversy with his incessant card waving in the Turkish domestic league and as a result, he had been denied refereeing high profile matches in recent times. Apparently, 3 days to the highly anticipated fixture between United and Madrid, he was the darling of the sports news headlines as he failed to award a clear penalty in Akhisar's 1-0 defeat to Elazigspor. Also, it was discovered that the referee is big fan of Madrid star player, Cristiano Ronaldo whom he follows on twitter.
Ex-United captain Roy Keane took the opportunity to shoot himself back to prominence after a long spell in oblivion after a failed attempt at coaching by coming out to support the controversial decision. I personally decided to pay no mind to the rants of the ex-United captain who apparently is still bitter over the acrimony that led to his departure from the team.
After all said and done, what's done is done and I will not say Real Madrid didn't deserve the win even though Jose Mourinho attempted to play down the controversy surrounding the Nani red card by his statement that the better team lost. Mourinho's reaction after the red card was nothing short of brilliant and contributed immensely to United's crash out of the UCL. Also, Cristiano Ronaldo refused to celebrate after scoring the winner - kudos to him for that especially as he is well aware that he is still highly respected by United fans world over.
I hope I have satisfied some friends who accused me of not blogging about the game due to United's loss. Contrary to popular belief, I took the loss with all equanimity as one of those things that make football the greatest sport in the world. Nze, take note. ;)
Malcolm O. Ifi.
Photo Credits: The Internet

MANNER OF APPROACH

Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us.
-Earl Nightingale
The man looked up from what he was reading as we approached him. I didn't know him but I urgently needed his help - we both did. I gave him a smile and was about to speak when Usman barged in front of me and spoke in a very commanding tone. Apparently, he was in dire need of a lesson in manners and how to approach strangers. He blurted out without a word of courtesy.
"Which of you does the photocopying here?" He asked with all authority.
We were inside the Supreme Court Complex and it is well known that there are no business centers in here. The guard who directed us to this particular office made it quite clear that we had to beg them.
The man was apparently taken aback by the rude authority with which Usman spoke. We were both well dressed and he probably estimated that we were some kind of big shots but still, he was not pleased with the manner of approach. He answered hesitantly pointing into one of the inner offices.
When I recovered from the shock of Usman's brusque approach, I realized that he stood a good chance of rubbishing my opportunity to get help here. I quickly swung into action by first of all, dissociating myself from him. As Usman strode majestically into the office in the direction the man pointed, I slowed down. I was certain he was going to meet failure.
"Good morning sir." I said gently, flashing my most winning smile. I spread the same greeting around the office to the other staff present. The returned my greeting cheerfully.
"Good morning sir." He replied pleasantly but was a bit surprised. "Aren't you with that other man?" He asked.
"No. Not at all." I replied, denying Usman instantly. "We just came in together."
"Oh, ok. How can I help you sir?" He asked with a smile.
"I was wondering if you or any of your colleagues here could help me with some printing and photocopy." Just as I was speaking, I saw Usman coming out of the office and he wasn't looking too pleased. He avoided everyone in the outer office, myself inclusive and walked out of the office with his head held high.
Pride! I shook my head. As he left the office, it was then I realised that some of the other staff, particularly a pretty lady had been watching our deeply contrasting exchange.
"That man has no manners. No one will help him with that kind of attitude." She remarked. She rose from her seat and came towards me and extended her hand.
"I'm Mary." She said, introducing herself. After I shook her hand and told her my name, she said. "Follow me." She led me into the office where Usman had just left.
"Good morning madam." I said cheerfully to the woman sitting behind the computer.
"Good morning sir." She replied.
"Please give this gentleman all the assistance he needs." Mary said.
"Who was that idiot that left here just now?" She asked heatedly. "He just came here and tried to boss me about. When I realised he was a nobody, I walked him out!" She said.
"Don't mind him. Life is going to be very difficult for him." The man I approached initially said as he joined us in the office.
"With your manner of approach and cheerful attitude, I'll do anything in my power for you." Mary said.
That was how they told me to relax on one of the comfortable chairs while they did all the running around for me. I buttered them up some more with pleasant words and we shared a couple of laughs before I bid them farewell and went on to handle my business.
I met Usman at the foot of the stairs. He looked confused as he contemplated what to do. His only other option now was to leave the complex, head back into the City to do his printing and photocopy and come back and stand on the queue again. He looked surprised as he saw me arranging my printed copies.
"They did it for you?" He asked in shock.
"Of course. Manner of approach my friend; your manner of approach was very wrong." I said.
He shrugged. "Don't mind those people. They are wicked." He said contemptuously. I shook my head and decided not to pursue the conversation any further. His was a lost cause.
Of course, there is a lesson somewhere. Take heed!
Malcolm O. Ifi.