THE EGOMANIAC

The ego is the false self, born out of fear and defensiveness."
― John O'Donohue

It is easy to confuse ego with self-esteem though a thoughtless and superlative self-esteem amounts to egotism. It is good to have self-esteem; a knowledge about yourself, a firm belief in your personal abilities. However, a thin line separates self-esteem from egotism. Self-esteem is considerate, egotism is not.
Egotism is simply conceit, self-importance. It manifests itself in many forms but in my opinion, the worst kind is the kind that manifests itself as a result of partial or total lack of self-esteem. Different people have different notions of importance and how to achieve it. The egomaniac thinks that the only way to arrive at the status of importance is to ride on those they consider to be beneath them. This is pathetic to say the least.

The misfortune of an over-bloated ego is unquantifiable. It is the reason Sigmund Freud said of egomaniacs, "This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever." An egomaniac is someone who can never be helped even though their demeanor screams for it. They are too proud to realise and admit they need it. Psychoanalysis will probably tell you that an egomaniac had a childhood experience that greatly dented his self-esteem. The most likely response is to develop a fastidious personality with an emotion blocked by a wall meters thick with concrete. They could be successful, powerful and famous but there is always an underlying insecurity that eats them up like cancer.

The worst friend a person can have is an egomaniac. The egomaniac strikes the pose of an over-dominant alpha male. They will belittle you, mock you and generally assert an air of superiority that is most intimidating. The best response depending on the intimidated is to fight or flee. Fleeing such company is not cowardice; it is the determination that such a relationship is inimical to the development of your self worth.

According to Deepak Chopra, "the ego relies on the familiar. It is reluctant to experience the unknown, which is to ignore the very essence of life." Egomaniacs mask their ignorance with rare confidence that fools the ignorant. They possess a sparse knowledge due to their inability to open their minds to the unfamiliar. Most times, they can be spotted a mile off - the loud, bawling voice in an argument that seeks to drown the opinions of others despite a total absence of logic. No one ever learned anything new without deference to superior logic or some unfounded love at hearing one's voice. Never hang on the word of an egomaniac...or anybody else for that matter. Ignite your passion for discovery and find out who you are.

In the equation of love, an ego is the explosive ingredient. Egomaniacs are incapable of love. This is because they are overwhelmed with a sense of self, a personality trait which invariably leads to narcissism. This self-love which springs from a hidden self-loathing is mostly invulnerable to emotions of love. A person stuck in a relationship with a egomaniac is involved in the most parasitic of relationships. The fulcrum of a relationship based on love is selflessness; an emotion an egomaniac is incapable of. Such a relationship becomes competitive at best or oppressive at worst.

Finally, the worst kind of egomaniacs make the worst enemies. An undaunted character who seeks to show the egomaniac the error of his/her ways is endangered. An ego is like a balloon filled with hot air. When it is pumped and airtight, it soars but a single prick is all that is needed to burst or deflate it. An injured egomaniac will fight back like a wounded tiger having lost all that ever really counted and there's no telling how far he'll go.

Have you got a friend or a lover like that? Its best to flee lest you expose yourself the worst feeling of subjugation that is bound to blind you to your true sense of worth.

Take heed.

Malcolm O. Ifi.

I can be engaged on twitter @saymalcolm