MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING: WHY SO ANGRY?!

I had gone to hang out with a couple of friends on saturday. The weather was unbearably hot all day and as PHCN were in their usual "form", I decided to go out. As I left the little bar where we had hung out, I found out that the weather had simmered down somewhat. It appeared that as the dark cloth of the night changed the light of day, so did the cool breeze of the evening replace the humidity of the day.

I took a bus and was fortunate to get the front seat by the window. Between the driver and me was an overweight elderly woman. I mumbled greetings to her as the bus moved. Nothing prepared me for the severe verbal exchange that came next as I settled down to enjoy the ride with the cool wind on my face. It started with the conductor.

We had been moving for some time when the conductor asked for the fare. I had just paid mine and when the elderly woman paid hers, the conductor complained.

"Madam, your money remain twenty naira oh!" He growled.

"Nor be sixty naira I give you?" She asked.

"Na eighty naira be your money!" He insisted. "I first tell you before."

"Abeg na. Na thirty naira I dey pay since. I tell you say na thirty naira I go pay."

The driver who had been silent the whole time suddenly spoke up with such rage that shocked me.

"Which kain nonsense be this na? Madam pay your money abeg! Make una nor make me vex this evening." He said this such a belligerent tone that I wondered if this wasn't some form of transferred aggression.

"Which one be your own sef? Na sixty naira I pay for me and my daughter yesterday. Because of small hold up when dey, una go just increase price anyhow." The woman responded angrily.

The driver stopped the car in the middle of the road, and jumped out causing a little traffic. He strode angrily to the conductors side and began to shout at him.

"Wetin dey worry you? Why you nor go tell people correct money before they enter? You think say na play I come play for here? No dey use my work dey play!" He shouted angrily.

"I tell the madam the correct money. Na she wan change am now." The conductor replied timidly. The driver strode back and entered the car.

"Madam, pay your money abeg. I nor dey all this one when you dey talk so." He said angrily.

I hate loud arguments. I hate them even more when they are about something so petty. I would have easily asked everyone to just maintain peace so that I pay the balance of twenty naira but I had to be cautious lest I become the enemy. I was about to ask if this hullabaloo was really all about twenty naira when the woman responded with equal anger.

"Na ordinary twenty naira na e dey make you shout like this?!"

"If the twenty naira ordinary, why you dey follow me drag am? Them don tell you how much you go pay when you wan change am. Now you dey ask me say na ordinary twenty naira." He retorted.

"You nor even dey shame sef." She said.

At this point, I knew this war of words was not going to end so I kept mute. Thankfully, I was close to my bus stop. My only prayer was for me to get there in one piece. The driver's angry voice increased in decibels.

"You dey ask me whether I nor dey shame abi? Make I tell you something; I nor be thief, I nor be yahoo boy, I nor be kidnapper, I nor be militant. Na my work be this. I no dey shame for my work. Na you suppose dey ashamed of yourself. Nor be your mate get their own motor?"

The woman was so shocked that she remained silent, staring at the driver incredulously. In fact, I silently prayed that she wouldn't lift her hand to slap the driver as they sat next to each other. The daughter of the woman who sat behind and had been silent all through out the exchange jumped in. She had finally been provoked.

"No insult my mama oh! Driver na work?"

"Na the ashawo when you dey do be work?" The driver retorted.

I held my head in agony knowing this wasn't going to end. A man who sat behind decided to join in.

"Wetin dey worry you sef driver? Na twenty naira dey make you insult elderly woman?"

"Sharrap there, woman wrapper! Who ask you? Na only you dey this bus? Everybody dey mind their business but you must put mouth. Why you nor pay the money make everybody rest?" The driver responded, not ready in the least the back down.

"You're just a fool!" I heard the man say, quite shocked at the driver's response.

"Nor be say you go use the money do better thing sef. Na ogogoro e go use am buy after e work finish!" The daughter said before a long hiss.

"All of una dey crase! Na on top my money una dey talk put. Me dey hustle my own, una wan change am for me. Na God go punish una! If na ogogoro I use my money buy, wetin concern una?" The driver ranted angrily.

"Stop this bus!" The elderly woman screamed suddenly after she seemed to have found her voice. "I wan come down!"

"Pay your money oh!" The driver said as he parked the bus properly this time. He jumped out prepared to do whatever to ensure his twenty naira got paid.

"Wetin be twenty naira when this idiot go dey insult me for?" She said angrily looking at me and probably hoping for some response from me but I had no intention of obliging her. I had already come down and was waiting for her to alight from the bus, hopeful that there would be some peace afterwards. She tossed a twenty naira note at him and stormed off with her daughter. Her voice faded as she continued to rain insults at the driver as the bus sped off.

Sadly, peace remained elusive. The man behind continued from where the woman and her daughter had left off. It was a relief to see the marker that indicated my bus stop was close. I quickly alighted without uttering a single word. I uttered a silent prayer of thanks to God for my safe arrival.

I had to wonder how people could get so worked up over something that could easily have been avoided. I know the economic climate is terrible but I find it hard to believe twenty naira is that important. It may be but I felt it was more of the predominant and deep-seated distrust that lay in the mind of most Nigerians towards each other. The trade of insults just showed how mad, angry and frustrated most Nigerians are. Why would anybody engage in such verbal battle over something so trivial if there wasn't some latent form of dissatisfaction and pent-up rage?

I really hope that things indeed get better in Nigeria. Our moral and psychological psyche is badly damaged from years of abuse and not seeing things work. Everybody is too damn angry!

Malcolm O. Ifi.