THE POLITICS OF SENSATIONALISM OR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM?

Hello all,

Happy 2014!

I apologize for my absence. It was due to circumstances beyond my control...well, not really, though. I just decided to stay away from politics for a while and focus on other things. Well, Malcolm the storyteller is back now and without further ado, to the matter on ground!

Yesterday, I saw a news report...no, a link rather by Sahara Reporters stating that Kenyans had ridiculed President Jonathan over the presidential fleet when he visited Kenya to take part in their just concluded Independence Day celebration. I didn't bother to click the link to see the video because there was no report attached.

However, I was surprised to see that the link had metamorphosed into a frenzy especially twitter. It all started with a tweet of the link by former FCT Minister and well known stalwart of the APC, Mallam Nasir El Rufai; a retweet by blogger Japheth Omojuwa and an unguarded, uncouth response by Presidential Media Spokesperson, Dr. Reuben Abati.

I was forced to visit the link as posted by SR and I was totally disappointed. In an obviously edited video of less than 15 seconds, I saw a woman who's identity is yet to be confirmed, allege that the President of Nigeria arrived Kenya with 7 private jets!

While such a farce may not be impossible, it raised serious issues in my head that ought to be considered quite seriously because of its far reaching consequences.  

Nigeria is at a crucial period of her democratic history considering the fact that she has had uninterrupted democracy in over a decade. Though the dividends of democracy are yet to trickle down to masses, there is still hope that it will.

However, it is pathetic that the only constant thing since the inception of the Fourth Republic is that Nigeria's international image has suffered massively. She is now known by the international community as the den of criminals; a view which has not been helped by the countless criminal escapades and roguery of past and present public officials.

More recently, the campaign of calumny managed by APC which hopes to unseat the ruling party PDP is something that should cause worry in the mind of any rational Nigerian. It is correct that PDP has failed woefully in its mandate to yield the dividends of democracy but is the APC going to be any better?

With the APC extending it's arms to the disgruntled and renegade members of PDP to fill up its ranks in a bid to snatch power from PDP at all costs, one is left to wonder what an APC future holds. A friend of mine made a comment last year that rang so true. He said, "Nigeria is a PDP nation. APC does not exist". Though the statement has a partisan tint to it, it cannot be further from the truth. APC is gradually becoming another acronym for PDP.

That is by the way side: rumours have been rife that the whistle-blowing Sahara Reporters is a contraption of the APC. While the veracity of that is yet to be ascertained, I am beginning to see them in a new light.

Until yesterday, I had the utmost respect for the online newspaper for the role it has played in bringing to light the unbelievable excesses of the public officers of this political dispensation, the most recent being the Stella Oduah Saga which in my opinion, is a masterpiece of investigative journalism.

However, the posting of the link without an attempt at verification smacks of partisan mischief which is no longer far-fetched. The Youtube link that appeared on SR's website with a sensational headline was totally devoid of a report affirming or denying the truthfulness of the allegations of the "Kenyan" woman.

The headline of course caught the attention of Nigerians and without any serious investigation, people jumped into conclusions that further castigated the already battered image of the Presidency. Poor Reuben Abati who must have been infuriated lost control of his emotions and tweeted a tactless statement most unbecoming of a presidential spokesman.

It is good to criticize a government that seems to be losing it's way but at what point do we draw the line between criticisms aimed at causing disaffection and constructive criticism? This is where I have a problem with APC. They only seem to be good at pointing fingers without offering suggestions as to solutions.

Nigeria belongs to all of us and as a result, we must all play our roles to ensure that somehow we achieve the Nigeria of our dreams. Achieving the dream will not be by the vehicle of baseless and antagonistic criticisms by constructive criticism. This report by SR is the kind that has the tendency to overheat the polity needlessly. The fact that we have a profligate government does not make right the attempts to spread evil rumours about it. We who seek change ought to know better.

Young Nigerians who have overrun the social media space in what is seen by many as an unprecendented political awakening lambast the FG government daily. I will not lie, I am one of them but I have learned to draw the line. Sadly, I have not seen any of the opposition Twitter activists applaud this administration for the significant reduction in the activities of the dreaded militant sect, Boko Haram which has in recent times, made holiday seasons an "explosive" one. The FG may be doing a lot of things wrong but it is still doing some things right.

The Nigerian government is viewed with disdain by the world for her notorious profligacy, that's bad enough. However, desperate attempts such as this current one by SR should be seen for what it is; a smear campaign. Pray tell, why didn't SR release the full clip so that we know the genesis of the allegation if it didn't have a pocket full of mischief?

I think it's high time Nigerians start to criticize constructively. For the social media crowd, it is a poor testament of self to latch hopelessly on the opinions of relevance-seeking politicians, influential social media activists and unverifiable, sensational news headlines. We must learn to form opinions based on clear logic rather than herd-mentality sentiments.

MOI.

TIME CAPSULE

When you enter a banking hall in Nigeria, there are certain things you expect to see; especially if you frequent the banking halls of new generation banks. It is a fact that majority of banks in Nigeria invest a lot in the general aesthetics of the banking environment. It helps to create a friendly and professional atmosphere that is inviting to potential and existing customers. Even the dress code of the bank staff is usually admirable. 

So it was a mild shock - mild shock because the few times I've transacted business in this particular bank, I've never really been impressed with the general aesthetics and service. It was a shock nonetheless because I was in the Central Business District in the FCT. I had expected to see at least a change from what I was used to seeing in other branches nationwide. Unfortunately, it appears that the management of this particular bank has does not give a hoot about aesthetics.

On entering the bank, we were met by the security guard who used a hand metal detector to check me for any unwanted metal content. In other banks, the doors do that. I didn't pay mind to that but when I got into the bank's shabby waiting area, I was amazed. The first thing I saw that struck me as abysmally out of place was the TV - yes, you guessed right. It wasn't a plasma, neither was it a flat screen tv. It was the regular coloured box television. I was amazed but I didn't complain because at least, the really old school standing split units were functioning properly.
The next thing that struck me as odd was the dress code of the staffs. Though it was casual friday, I was still totally unimpressed. These people had no idea of what dressing well is about - both male and female. If there's one thing we know about bankers, its that they dress really well. These set of people got it totally wrong. Ill-fitting natives, dresses and even those who wore jeans were totally off point. I sighed and prayed our business here would be over soon.

Sadly, that was not to be. The server was down so I had to stay there for almost an hour. I didn't blame them - this happens frequently in most Nigerian banks but when one of the staffs decided to restart their computer system, I heard the most unbelievable sound. The shut-down sound of Windows XP. It was like being forced into a time capsule and suddenly, it was year 2000 again. How can a bank still use Windows XP in 2013 when its not a business center?!

From what I've narrated thus far, I'm sure some of you can make a guess about what bank I'm talking about. I shall not name names for obvious reasons. Any way, finally we got our transaction done and it felt good to get back to 2013.

I just wonder if the management of that bank ever attend business seminars on how to brand or rebrand your place of business. They seem totally oblivious of the competition who pay attention to aesthetics and branding. Well, I guess that the fact that they are still in business is testimony to the fact that their complete lack of aesthetic sense is not a major concern as it does not affect their business.

One thing is sure though. If I can, I will do everything in my power to avoid ever transacting business there in the future.

Malcolm O. Ifi.

OF WEDDINGS AND MARRIAGE IN TODAY'S NIGERIA

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24.

The injunction of marriage is a sacred one and for avoidance of ambiguity, marriage is the matrimonial union between a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others. Marriage is the ordained tool for procreation and also, a status symbol. More importantly, it comes with the assurance of God's blessing.

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." Proverbs 18: 22.

It is therefore surprising that with all the blessings promised, a lot of eligible young bachelors are single. Why is that? I've been hounded in recent times by my elders as to why I'm still unmarried. Someone once said to me, "You're old enough. I don't see what you are waiting for." Of course, you won't see what I'm waiting for because you obviously can't see through my eyes. Truth is, as a teen, I always thought that I'd be married before 25. I have never fancied having my first child by age 30. After all, my dad had his first child in his early 20's. Sadly, that is the reality for many young men today. What changed?

After pondering deeply on the subject, I conclude that our parents had it easy. In the old days, life was simple and even more so for those who got an education. An education to secondary or tertiary level guaranteed you an instant job with attractive trappings. Today, a BSc, a Master Degree and even a doctorate is hardly enough guarantee. The economy of Nigeria today is so crippled that it has been unable to provide employment for the ever increasing mass of graduates churned out of our schools every year. Do you expect a man who has no job to take on a wife? That is courting calamity.

Secondly, whilst our elders had women from Earth, ours are from Mars. Let me explain: Many of our dads started with a bicycle, moved to a motorcycle and graduated to a car finally; a Volkswagen beetle first, then a Peugeot 504. This progress was slow and steady but it was not the focus. All that mattered at the time was potential. Their wives, our mothers, (God bless them!) are super women juggling the roles of motherhood, career women, home keepers and exceptional cooks. 

Today, a lot has changed. Many young ladies are not patient enough to be with the guy who has potential. They'd rather have a guy who drives a Range Rover Sport, can afford "Brazilian hair", take them out overseas for shopping and the like, even though they can't really tell the source of his wealth. There was a time when women used to be bothered about that. 

However, it is amazing too that for these new generation women who demand so much, they have so little to offer. There has been a steady decline in appreciable wifely skills. I have a friend who had hoped that marriage would free him from the shackles of Indomie, the bachelor's best friend but alas, how wrong he was! The girlfriend that refused to cook for him till he married her now cooks Indomie for lunch and they still eat out a lot! I was talking to a young lady recently who told me she couldn't marry a man who couldn't afford to hire a maid. Not only was she not ashamed of the fact that she had no culinary skills, she was brazen enough to say it out loud. Some of them get lucky, and get a man who marries them and hires a maid and impregnates them both! 

I was at a friend's wedding recently where he attempted something new: after his bride had done the bouquet throwing, he ordered us, the "unrepentant bachelors" out and told us he would be throwing his bow tie for us to catch. Apparently, the "bouquet throwing myth" is something highly regarded. You should have seen how we all dodged the tie! The best man was our saviour on the day. One of the guests, an elderly man, remarked that "these young men of nowadays are afraid of responsibility". That is hardly the truth. I'm of the view that the cost of maintaining a girlfriend today is much more than the cost of maintaining a wife as was applicable in their era. The emphasis on materialism has taken a new dimension that they will never understand.

Which brings me to my personal favorite; the wedding ceremony. Today, it would seem the wedding ceremony has become more important than the union. I have attended numerous weddings and as a guy hoping to get married soon, I make enquiries. The expenses involved is enough to make one consider a celibate oath. I have never really understood the need for so much fanfare for such a solemn ceremony especially as divorces have become quite rampant. People spend ridiculous amounts for a wedding to impress the world who really don't give two about how you survive afterwards and start off a married life neck-deep in debt. Is it really worth it at the end of the day? And you wonder why the grooms hardly ever smile.

In more civilized climes, the marriage ceremony is a solemn affair which involves a few family members, friends and associates, not an entire village or clan of hungry people who don't give a damn about anything but "Item 7". Why will a groom spend more than he can afford and more than is necessary to impress his guests or his wife's family? That's tantamount to deception, if you ask me. A potent recipe for failed marriages. 

Most times, potential wives don't make it easy. They want fancy and classy weddings, complete with a horse and carriage if possible to show off to their friends that they have finally "arrived". I feel sorry for men who allow themselves to cajoled into weddings they can barely afford because after all said and done, none of your "well-wishers" will stand by you when the creditors come calling. In fact, they will be the first to laugh at you for being unable to take care of your wife. 

The old saying, "cut your clothes according to your size" is irrelevant in today's world. "Cut your coat according to your cloth" is a more realistic view. That said, for those who can afford a massive wedding ceremony, by all means, spend that cheddar without looking back. The ceremony ought to be a memorable one and if you feel money will make it so, spend money. For the not so buoyant or financially prudent, I see nothing wrong with a quiet court wedding and a small but classy reception for less than a hundred guests. Makes more sense to me.

Malcolm O. Ifi.

Engage on twitter @saymalcolm 

Photo Credits: The Internet.

The Thing About Christmas

Hey fellas,

Quite sorry I have not been consistent here in the past few weeks. I've been more consistent however on my other blog. I still find wordpress a lot more user friendly than blogger; mostly because I'm a person who blogs on the the go and the wordpress mobile application on blackberry is still the most convenient. I hope Blogger makes a mobile application for blackberry real soon.

So, that aside, its Christmas! This Christmas is reminiscent of the ones I had as a kid for one reason only; the weather. The harmattan came to stay this season, unlike last year when it appeared for two days and vanished. Its our own version of winter characterized by bloody cold nights and mornings, warm afternoons, very dry air and lots of dust. This is my favorite time of the year and if you sweat a lot, it'll be yours too because perspiration is reduced to the barest minimum.

What's more? I'm in the ancient City of Benin with family and friends and it has been a wild ride since Christmas kicked off unofficially on the 23rd. Lots and lots of alcohol, jokes, laughs and general happiness. The atmosphere here is charged with festivity with people putting on funny christmas hats and colourful outfits everywhere I go and on more than one occasion, I have witnessed rare acts of kindness that I wouldn't have thought possible.

Life is far from perfect in Nigeria. Living in Nigeria is like being cast into the jungle where its survival of the fittest and the richest. All year round, its an intense battle to by Nigerians to make ends meet in a harsh economic climate. You can smell the struggle, the frustration, the anger but for just a few days coinciding with the Christmas break, it miraculously changes. The populace cast away their masks of fury for a cheerful countenance. Acts of love and kindness which seemed non-existent resurface in full force. For once, there is a high level of contentment and you get to see just how happy Nigerians can be.

It has been said that Christmas historically began as a pagan celebration and somehow, got merged with Christianity; it is still a contestable fact that Jesus Christ was actually born on the 25th of December. However, if this season is the cause of so much joy the world over; a season of gratitude for life, family and loved ones; a season of cheerful giving and sharing despite having little; a season of hearty celebration and the display of rare acts of kindness and affection, a time to spread love and a time of hope - all because of whom its associated with: Jesus Christ who made the ultimate sacrifice, I only wish we had more Christmases all year round. No other festive celebration matches the joy it brings.

So to my dear readers, though its coming a tad late, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year in advance. Show some love, put a smile on somebody's face, laugh loud, love more, be kinder and gentler, appreciate life and beauty, be good and do right always, keep believing that your situation will get better, that Nigeria will get better, that the world will get better and somehow, you'll fulfill someone's heart's desires as someone, somewhere will fulfill yours!

I love you all!

Malcolm O. Ifi.

Photo Credits: The Internet

WE HAVE KING JAMES, NOW THEY HAVE QUEEN JAMES: THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF TIMES

The Queen James Version: An Insult To The Tenets Of Christianity

To my most esteemed readers, as I write this piece, I am greatly saddened and depressed at the turn of events in the world today. Things which were once sacred and respected have become subject to twisted logic and have become fodder for perverts. Talk about reading a news headline that just messed up my day; I was in a daze for more than a few minutes when I read that the homosexual populace which have gotten much bolder in recent times have made their own bible version. This version which is modeled after The King James Version is called "The Queen James Version". According to the editors, King James I, the man behind the popular Bible translation, was a bisexual "known amongst friends and courtiers as 'Queen James' because of his many gay lovers." This new version, named in his honor, aims "to prevent homophobic interpretations," with several controversial verses strategically tweaked. "We wanted to make a book filled with the word of God that nobody could use to incorrectly condemn God’s LGBT children," the editors explain.

The brazenness of this abomination is frightening, though inevitable when homosexuality was not condemned in totality when it first reared its ugly head in the church. Allegations that King James I of England who authorized a new translation of the Bible into English in 1604 which came through in 1611 was "queer" are wicked rumours peddled by perverted and confused historians desperately seeking a basis for what they know to be patently false.  
 
I will not even bother to engage in a long defense of the Holy Bible because we live in dangerous times where many people have chosen to believe whatever feels convenient as an explanation to justify their ignorant beliefs and perversions as foretold in the Holy Bible. However, every human is born with a consciousness; a consciousness that follows the order of nature which is basically the voice of God. The woman was created by God for man for companionship and procreation. If God hadn't intended it to be so, He never would have created Eve. Therefore, any attempt to give homosexuality a basis in Christianity is as lame as it is a perversion of nature and the natural order of creation. No logical explanation can ever deny this.

With the existence today of homosexual bishops, free thinkers and all sorts of persons who deny the very wonder of the supernatural force that brought the world into being, we are not far from a time when name of our Lord Jesus Christ will be brought into disrepute. In fact, it has already begun. In New Zealand, a church billboard questioning Jesus Christ's sexuality is already sparking controversy. It was reported that the church's billboard depicts the infant Jesus surrounded by a rainbow-colored halo (the symbol of LGBT), along with the ambiguous but highly incensing statement:

"It's Christmas. It's time for Jesus to come out."

A Reverend defended the church's sign as being about trying to lift the humanity of Jesus. "The fact is we don't know what his sexual orientation was. Would it make a difference if he was gay? Would that change the picture for you?" he is quoted as saying.

This follows the declaration of the first openly gay bishop of the U.S. Episcopal Church Gene Robinson who said Jesus would have approved of gay families because;

"...in a culture that virtually demanded marriage --(he) was a single guy, spent most of his time with twelve men, singled out three of them for leadership and one of them is known in the Bible as ‘the one whom Jesus loved.’"

The above statement is bereft of any logical correlation to the issue at hand. It is so amazing how persons who claim to be "men of the cloth" have suddenly forgotten about the divine nature of Jesus Christ which puts Him above human affections. It shows the depth of the understanding of the so-called homosexual bishop.

The end times are here people. We cannot deny it any longer. Inasmuch as we try to castigate homosexuals as perverts and sinners of the worst kind, God does not see it as such. All sin is sin unfortunately and "The soul that sinneth, it shall die." Ezekiel 18:20. Therefore, it behooves on us all to take stock of our lives, repent and prepare for the second coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The time is now!

For the editors of Queen James, I leave them with verse 18 and 19 from the Book of Revelations, chapter 22.

"For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, if any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book.

And if any man shall take away from the words from the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book."

Nuff said!


Malcolm O. Ifi.

Photocredit: Amazon.com

LET'S JUST BLAME IT ON EVIL SPIRITS

Why people just hate to take responsibility for their misdeeds, gross ineptitude or the bad choices they make is beyond me. Perhaps, its a lot easier to play the blame-game; place the blame on someone or something. Doing this is basically the same thing as living in denial; to prevaricate and avoid getting to the point. The essence of any serious attempt at change is to accept responsibility. Once you identify you are the problem, the problem is half-solved. The second half is amending that characteristic flaw that negates positive movement.

Hajiya Zainab Kuchi, Minister of State for Power

 When I see people do this, I just laugh and tell them they are not ready to move forward. So you can imagine my surprise when I stumbled on a news report yesterday where the Minister of State for Power, Hajiya Zainab Kuchi said an evil spirit is behind Nigeria’s darkness preventing the country from taking her place of pride in the comity of Nations. She was reported to have said this when members of the African National Congress (ANC) (South Africa's ruling political party) led a team of investors to her office in Abuja. 

Her words, “We must resolve to jointly exorcise the evil spirit behind this darkness and allow this nation take its place of pride in the comity of Nations.”

Evil spirits...yeah, right! This is without doubt, the lowest form of excuse you will ever hear! It is only in Nigeria that a minister who was supposedly appointed based on her knowledge and expertise in the power sector will say this about the ineptitude of her office to tackle the challenge of inadequate power supply that has crippled the development of this nation since its birth. I won't even talk about the billions of dollars doled out year in, year out to fix this seemingly unsolvable aspect of our basic infrastructure. Were contracts awarded to evil spirits? If not, how are evil spirits to blame? Perhaps, its time we had a ministry for the exorcism of evil spirits. Those "men of God" that throng the halls of power and get paid for prayers obviously have not been effective enough.

Another statement credited to her ministry is, “Nigeria needs help, any nation that loves Nigeria must collaborate with it now to resolve her energy crisis…We are getting irritatingly slow.”

This appeal for help is embarrassing and shameless to say the least! Nigeria does not need outside help to solve her problems. No! She needs to realize that she is her own problem; that she is the solution to her own problems. For as long as she keeps having mentally challenged people in sensitive positions who are overwhelmed by the demands of service, she will keep begging for help from the outside world because she is either too lazy, or unwilling to do what needs to be done.

Seriously though, where do we find these people?! Just when you think the bar for stupidity can't be raised higher any further...

Malcolm O. Ifi.

Photo Credits: The Internet

FRSC SOCIAL MEDIA BLUNDER

The deleted tweet

Once again, we've come face to face with the shameless inefficiency of federal parastatals in Nigeria. About an hour ago, the twitter handle of the Federal Road Safety Commission (@FRSCNigeria) posted a tweet that a fully loaded Bus Rapid Transit (popularly known as BRT) ran off the Third Mainland bridge in Lagos, Nigeria and plunged into the lagoon. It said rescue efforts were ongoing. Immediately, without verifying, some online news agencies posted it and as it is with rumours, it spread.

After well meaning Nigerians who heard the news made efforts to confirm the tragedy by paying a visit to the Third Mainland Bridge, they were relieved but surprised to find it was a rumour. After several attempts to get confirmation from FRSC via their twitter handle, they deleted the tweet and claimed it was a "retweet". Such a brazen lie! When Nigerians who were misinformed by the false report demanded an apology, they, resorted to blocking such followers.

Response Tweet

I felt particularly insulted because I became an unwitting "rumour monger" in my bid to spread the news in order to ensure the victims got help in good time; as did so many other Nigerians. For the record, the Federal Road Safety Commission owes Nigerians an unreserved apology for such a blunder. If it is to extort Nigerians with the useless new car number plates that serve no sensible purpose, they have no qualms. In more civilized climes, this is sufficient ground for a law suit.

For the online news media companies that broadcasted the news without any form of verification and thereby, almost caused a nation wide panic, we now see how you do business. So long as it is bad news, whether verified or not, it sells right? God is watching all of you!

I hope somebody gets cautioned for this social media fiasco.

Malcolm O. Ifi.

Follow on twitter @saymalcolm