THE NSCDC GAFFE: A BREATHER FROM THE HARSH REALITY

The Nigerian sense of humour is a unique one and is definitely one of the reasons Nigeria has continued to thrive in the midst of dire economic crisis, crippling underdevelopment, unchecked corruption, misrule occasioned by mediocrity in governance and an abject lack of basic social infrastructure.

Our satirical humor which in recent times preys on our seeming inability to get a few good men at the helm of affairs has been a constant source of comic relief as her leaders stroll from one gaff to another; the most recent being Mr President's interview with CNN's Christian Amanpour.
That being said, the events of tuesday's highly infuriating presidential pardon handed to one of Nigeria's most notorious political bandits, Diepreye Alamiesiegha whose infamy is still a tale of legend as he managed to hoodwink the London Metropolitan Police who were hot on his trail. He achieved this feat by dressing up like a woman and making a great escape back to Nigeria after he was caught with about a million pounds in cash.

The former Bayelsa State governor was eventually cornered by the EFCC and did time in jail after he pleaded guilty to the charges leveled against him. The outrage that followed his pardon isn't without base as it makes mockery of the efforts of the EFCC in its war against corruption and signifies pointedly that despite Mr. President's rhetoric on how "Nigeria is winning the war on corruption", he is quite satisfied with the status quo ante. As matter of fact, it is apparent now that the mantra of this administration is "be a militant and get paid", "loot public treasury and be guaranteed a soft landing", "be a criminal and get pardoned" while graduates who spend years in tertiary institutions trying to make something of out of themselves join the ever-increasing crowd of the unemployed.

In dealing with a Nigeria like this where governance defies all forms of logic, where the system is a total failure, it takes the grace of God to remain sane and law abiding. Thus came a fresh gaffe! On monday morning, Channels TV conducted an interview with the Lagos State Commandant of Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps, NSCDC, Obafaiye Shem on a fact finding mission in a bid to expose job racketeering which has become a phenomenon within government agencies and parastatals.

The interview session turned into a comic session as the commandant couldn't answer correctly and articulately the simple question of telling Nigerians the website of the NSCDC. It was glaring that Obafaiye Shem did not know the NSCDC website when he made reference to "Oga at the top".

His gesticulations and mannerisms based on his obvious discomfort at being caught unawares was a sight to behold. He displayed a wry smile as he tried to wiggle his way out of the question but his interviewers had him cornered. When he finally saw there was no way out, he made an attempt.

Channels TV Presenter: "If you want to know about the NSCDC, what website do you go to?"
Commandant: "Ok...if you want to know about NSCDC, as at now."
Channels TV Presenter: "Exactly!"
Commandant: "Ok, ww dot nscdc...so *coughs* that's all."
Channels TV Presenter: "That's it?"
Commandant: "Yeah."


I laughed myself to a stupor when I saw the expression on the faces of the presenters who fought the good fight not to burst into laughter. What was even funnier was the expression on the face of the Commandant who knew they knew he'd left out something and in an attempt to end all further inquiries was the finality with which he said, "that's all".

The video went viral on the social media and since that time, its spread has been on hyper-drive with an overdose infusion of Nigerian humour to almost every Nigerian active on social media to lull the dismay at Mr President's most recent action. Our unique sense of humour added several other dimensions to this recent gaffe as the phrases "Oga at the top" and "that's all" caught on and are now the new cliches.

Even though we make light of what is a most expensive joke; a clear evidence of the mediocrity that riddles governance and government agencies in Nigeria, what else can we really do but laugh?

Really?

NB: By the way, a white smoke finally appeared at the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican late yesterday to announce the successful election of a new pope. The new "Oga at the top" is Argentine Cardinal, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, now His Holiness Pope Francis.
And yes! "Oga at the top" has come to stay...deal with it! That's all!!
(˘̯˘ )

Malcolm O. Ifi.
I am @saymalcolm on Twitter