SPIRITS OF THE LAW

The firm where I used to work as an associate counsel had been invited to a dinner organised by the Bar Chapter in honor of a Court of Appeal justice who had distinguished himself both at the bar and in the bench. It was a convergence of eminent jurists, academicians and the corporate world at large. As a "new wig", I was a bit overwhelmed and intimidated.
 
Not wanting to be left out of the action however, I made a quick dash for the bar wherein I took a gulp of three tots of Irish cream, two glasses of tequila and another two glasses of the finest champagne. In the words of the legendary Mohammed Ali, my head began to spin and "dance like a butterfly". Everything around me seemed like an Exparte Motion waiting to be moved.

As I wobbled and fumbled around the crowd, highly influenced and haunted by the bottled spirits, my ordeal started.
I thought I saw a lady wave at me, and I quickly acknowledged and throttled to meet the lady in question. With the spirits urging me to do more, I quickly introduced myself thus:

"B. O. Okoji." I said and she introduced herself like wise .

"I have heard so much about your exploits in the bar. I have always wanted to meet this gentleman." She continued. Mistaken identity of course but I played along. My head swelled with pride obviously because there where people beside us who were listening to her talk. With such an ego-boosting statement, I went on a voyage of miscalculated statements and gibberish nonsense. In between sips of wine, I simply ranted about all sorts and continued, each time she gave me a convincing smile. Deep down within me, I felt I had  found a new rich client who I would be getting high profile briefs/contacts.
 
While I blabbed on, her name suddenly boomed and echoed in the hall as the M.C. introduced her as one of the newly appointed judges of the state and also a guest speaker for the occasion. I was flabbergasted and made to sneak out but no, she grabbed my arms.

"Oooh! No counsel, would you be kind enough to walk me to the high table?"

Who was I to say no?

In my very tipsy state, I carefully walked her to the high table, and as I made to turn around and walk away, my leg caught one of the cables of the projector and I tripped along with virtually everything meant for the high table. It was a mess and as I hit the floor. I stayed put on the ground, too ashamed to stand up and too tipsy to leave the comfort of the floor. I had to act like I passed out to save face.

The following Monday in court, as the tap went on the door, and the court rose, lo and behold! Before me was my ubiquitous friend from that night. She was the presiding judge. To add more woes to my problem, the "officially well-known" B. O. Okoji was also in court!
 
After all had been said and done, as she was about to rise, she uttered the following words of wisdom.

"In the Spirit of the Lenten season, I urge you all to read proverbs 13:3, Ephesians 5:18 and Galatians 6:3!
C O U R T!!!!!!!"

The writer is on twitter @bertc4chics
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.