Tuesday 26 February 2013

THE PRAYER WARRIORS OF TODAY

Early this month, I had an appointment at the office of a law maker. As I stepped into the office, I stumbled into a prayer session which I had to join. However, the man who led the prayer session was someone I had seen earlier on account of his unique dress code. He had on a white cassock which gave no illusions as to his calling or profession, whichever the case may be.

Then it hit me! I had seen this "Father" a few minutes ago when I was at the entrance to the National Assembly fulfilling the strict security prerequisites to authorize my entrance. It wasn't like he was unmemorable - nothing of that sort. In fact, he stood out in contrast to the many of us who were there on one business of the other. Most of us were primly dressed in suits, native wears and/or casuals - nothing out of the ordinary to get you noticed. What caught my attention however was his somber and pious look as he waited to satisfy the security procedure expected of him. He had this expression on his face like he would be administering the holy communion in a minute. I really didn't think much of it then as I had a lot on my mind at the time.

Thus, finding him in the office here leading a prayer session was a bit surprising. Out of respect for God and his priestly office, I bowed my head and joined in the prayer which was delivered in Igbo language. He invoked the blessings of God upon us but as he did so, I was amazed at one of the staff at the law maker's office who didn't seem to care much about the blessings being invoked upon our lives. She nonchalantly engaged herself in a phone conversation while prayers were going on.
Initially, I thought perhaps the prayer session was going to be over in a minute but it was not to be so as the prayer session gradually gathered momentum. The lady continued with her loud conversation on the phone totally oblivious what was going on. By this time, I was like "Ah ah sef! You show respect for God nau!" - in my mind oh, in my mind so that you don't get the wrong idea lest she decided to frustrate my mission afterwards.

Eventually, it became awkward to have just two voices out of a crowd of about seven communicating loudly and seperately with two invisibles while the rest of us bowed our heads in humble obeisance. The staff which I gathered was one of the secretaries of the law maker had to leave the office so that we could focus on the more important conversation taking place.

After a short while, it all came to end. It was only then I learned that the law maker was "not on seat" (whatever that really means) so I had to wait a little. I waited as I watched the priest exchange kind and gentle words with the more devout members of his denomination as he continued to plant blessings after blessings on them. It then crossed my mind to ask myself what this priest was doing here. My guide commented that it was normal for "men of God" to pay unscheduled visits to politicians armed with ready prayers of blessings in high hopes of activating their benevolence which usually translated to financial rewards.

Before he made this comment, my mind was cast back to an article I read some time ago about how some "men of God" were regular visitors at Aso Rock or rather, employees of Aso Rock with the specific duties of binding and casting the evil forces sent to scuttle the efforts of the administration. Again, I remembered the very familiar figure of the CAN president laying hands on and blessing the "First Children" very recently at the jamboree organized by the First Lady to celebrate her miraculous resurrection from the dead.

It is indeed no joke that there are many of such "men of God" thronging the halls of power seeking to render their services especially as a minister once declared that the power sector needed serious "deliverance". Every day, we hear heart-breaking tales of corruption that emanate from the halls of power. One would normally expect that the presence of high-powered prayer warriors would reduce this but apparently, these new generation of "men of God" care more about their stomach than effecting a real change in the system.

God is watching all of you in HD!

Malcolm O. Ifi.
I am on twitter @saymalcolm

Monday 25 February 2013

ALTRUISM: THE WAY OUT?

Ever wondered what it would be like if we had leaders who were truly inspired pure altruistic motives? That in my opinion is the only panacea to the problem of corruption plaguing Nigeria today. Corruption is the love child of greed and wickedness and like a malignant cancer, it has eaten through the fabric of our morality and in time, has grown into the Kraken with an ubiquitous reach.

Corruption does not exist in a vacuum. It requires a willing host to enable it grow till its tentacles spread wide enough to leave a leprous touch to everything within distance. Sadly, Nigerians have been too willing to be hosts to this monster in a bid to benefit from it at all costs. It is in the heart of the public servant who meets the pre-existing order and is lulled by its materialistic trappings to makes him/her an obstacle to positive change. It is the hidden motivation behind the rants of the opposition masquerading as activists and agents of social change in the hope that the opportunity will someday be theirs to do as their predecessors have done. It has now become manifest in the shameless acquisition of ostentatious articles by those who profess to be the mouth piece of God. It is now the hope of the disillusioned youth to attain some form of relevance in a society that cares not for his plight . It has robbed the innocence from the new born. Corruption hangs in the air like a dense mass of smoke and has given all under it teary eyes.

Corruption will always exist as long as humans continue to live. The only way to get respite from its clamp-like grip is total re-orientation. In a nation where the gap between the rich and the poor is monumental and increasing on a daily, it will be nothing short of miraculous to achieve this feat. The fear of poverty fuels greed to ensure that wealth is maintained at all cost for the rich. On the other hand, the resentment resulting from the abuse of poverty will make the poor unwilling to any talk of moderation when the opportunity arises.

Sadly, poverty has come to stay in this world. It is the reason equality is forever to remain a myth. However, excruciating want is a lot less worse than mental poverty. Mental poverty is that state of mind that perpetually defies rationality. It has the teeming population of Nigeria by the balls; it is the outcome of years of abuse that has given rise to a dysfunctional thought process and manner of behaviour. We have learned over the years to worship money and the power it brings but it hasn't taken us far. It has bound us in strife and mediocrity.

There is yet hope if we are willing. It starts with you and I; in our own little spheres of influence. We must un-learn the money motivation and imbibe values of altruism. Zombie-like acquisition of wealth by all means necessary never gives the soul inner peace; only a genuine concern for the welfare of others can. Let us fight greed in ourselves and weaken the limbs of corruption.

Malcolm O. Ifi.
I am on twitter @saymalcolm




Wednesday 20 February 2013

LAST NIGHT'S 90 MINUTES OF EXCITEMENT: THE CLASSIC THAT WILL LEAD TO ANOTHER

"We live for moments such as these."

That was the sentiment of many football lovers around the world. Not many predicted correctly the outcome of yesterday's highly anticipated face-off in the UEFA Champions League clash in the round of 16 at the San Siro between AC Milan and FC Barcelona.

Prior to the match, many assumed that Barca's current invincibility in recent times would translate to a victory or at the very least, a draw to properly position them to go for the jugular at the second leg at the Nou Camp. However that was not to be owing to the fact that the Barca on display last night were properly tamed by the sound tactics of Milan boss Massimiliano Allegri and the doggedness and discipline of the Rossoneri.

Even worse for the Catalans was the unbelievable inability of Super Lionel Messi to pull out the proverbial rabbit out of the hat. The world's best footballer was oddly unable to string the sublime passes he is well known for and on many occasions, carelessly lost possession of the ball. In fact, an astute observer commented, he was invisible rather than invincible.

The heroes of the night were the Ghanian duo of Kevin-Prince Boateng and Sulley Al Muntari; both ex-players of now relegated English side Portsmouth. Kevin-Prince Boateng opened the score sheet in the second half under highly controversial circumstances after an apparent handball by teammate Cristian Zapata in the buildup, and Sulley Al Muntari finished off a beautiful counter attack to score the final goal within nine minutes to full time, sealing off a well deserved victory for the Rossoneri.

The San Siro was alight with disbelief and jubilation and reached a crescendo when Barca simply could not even get as much as an away goal to salvage the situation. Not to in anyway take away the shine from Milan who have got a more impressive Champions League resume of winning the title 7 times in contrast FC Barcelona's 4, the form of the latter in recent times bolstered by the presence of arguably one of the greatest players ever to grace the game, many thought Milan stood no chance.

This upset has paved way for an even more exciting second-leg rematch at the Nou Camp in three weeks time. The Catalans will go into that match with the awareness that nothing short of two goals and a clean sheet will revive their chances of survival at this year's competition. A source of worry for them will be their disturbing inability at keeping clean sheets which has been manifest this season. AC Milan will hopefully be sporting a stronger side as many key players were out injured or may just have stumbled upon the right formula to neutralize the rampaging attack force of Barcelona and stick to the tactics that delivered them the victory at the San Siro yesterday.

Still, it would be unwise to write off Barcelona. They have won only three of their last 14 Champions League knockout games away from home and it is expected that Lionel Messi will bounce back from yesterday's dismal display and carry the team as he has done in time past. Whatever the case, soccer lovers are in for one hell of a show in the coming weeks!

Malcolm O. Ifi is on twitter @saymalcolm
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

Sunday 17 February 2013

SPIRITS OF THE LAW

The firm where I used to work as an associate counsel had been invited to a dinner organised by the Bar Chapter in honor of a Court of Appeal justice who had distinguished himself both at the bar and in the bench. It was a convergence of eminent jurists, academicians and the corporate world at large. As a "new wig", I was a bit overwhelmed and intimidated.
 
Not wanting to be left out of the action however, I made a quick dash for the bar wherein I took a gulp of three tots of Irish cream, two glasses of tequila and another two glasses of the finest champagne. In the words of the legendary Mohammed Ali, my head began to spin and "dance like a butterfly". Everything around me seemed like an Exparte Motion waiting to be moved.

As I wobbled and fumbled around the crowd, highly influenced and haunted by the bottled spirits, my ordeal started.
I thought I saw a lady wave at me, and I quickly acknowledged and throttled to meet the lady in question. With the spirits urging me to do more, I quickly introduced myself thus:

"B. O. Okoji." I said and she introduced herself like wise .

"I have heard so much about your exploits in the bar. I have always wanted to meet this gentleman." She continued. Mistaken identity of course but I played along. My head swelled with pride obviously because there where people beside us who were listening to her talk. With such an ego-boosting statement, I went on a voyage of miscalculated statements and gibberish nonsense. In between sips of wine, I simply ranted about all sorts and continued, each time she gave me a convincing smile. Deep down within me, I felt I had  found a new rich client who I would be getting high profile briefs/contacts.
 
While I blabbed on, her name suddenly boomed and echoed in the hall as the M.C. introduced her as one of the newly appointed judges of the state and also a guest speaker for the occasion. I was flabbergasted and made to sneak out but no, she grabbed my arms.

"Oooh! No counsel, would you be kind enough to walk me to the high table?"

Who was I to say no?

In my very tipsy state, I carefully walked her to the high table, and as I made to turn around and walk away, my leg caught one of the cables of the projector and I tripped along with virtually everything meant for the high table. It was a mess and as I hit the floor. I stayed put on the ground, too ashamed to stand up and too tipsy to leave the comfort of the floor. I had to act like I passed out to save face.

The following Monday in court, as the tap went on the door, and the court rose, lo and behold! Before me was my ubiquitous friend from that night. She was the presiding judge. To add more woes to my problem, the "officially well-known" B. O. Okoji was also in court!
 
After all had been said and done, as she was about to rise, she uttered the following words of wisdom.

"In the Spirit of the Lenten season, I urge you all to read proverbs 13:3, Ephesians 5:18 and Galatians 6:3!
C O U R T!!!!!!!"

The writer is on twitter @bertc4chics
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

Friday 15 February 2013

GOLDIE AND THE MISCREANTS OF SOCIAL MEDIA

Goldie Harvey
The sudden death of Nigerian pop singer, Susan Oluwabimpe "Goldie" Harvey has to be the worst news that has hit Nigerians in 2013 so far. Even worse was the fact that she died in the evening of Valentine's Day after her return from Los Angeles, United States of America where she attended the Grammy Awards. Her record label reported that the singer complained of a severe headache after the long flight. She was rushed to Reddington Hospital in Victoria Island, Lagos where she was pronounced dead shortly after.

The news first sprang up on the social media from popular gossip blogger Linda Ikeji who claimed Derenle Edun, a close associate of Goldie called her to say the pop star died in his arms at the hospital. The furor that followed was unbelievable as the news which was originally thought to be a rumour spread like wild fire before confirmation came from Goldie's twitter handle as posted by her admin staff that the news of her demise was actually true. 

Goldie was an artist under Kennis Music. She joined the record label in 2010 and has since then, enjoyed a good measure of success. She has received 10 awards amongst which are Exquisite Lady of the year, Best Female Artiste award and City People Best Female Artiste of the year. She represented Nigeria in the last year's edition of Big Brother Amplified (BBA7) which held in South Africa where she was third runner up.

The 31 year old Ekiti State born diva was undoubtably a hard worker who took her musical career quite seriously. She was lambasted heavily on the social media last year by Nigerians who believed she was unoriginal and did not portray the country's culture in a positive light as she appeared to have displayed a western mentality that did not tally with her Nigerian roots at the BBA7 star game. Others criticised the musician for her on-off romance with a fellow housemate, the Kenyan rapper Prezzo. Whatever the case, the criticisms boosted her popularity immensely.

However, after her death was confirmed, it was appalling to see a few uncouth Nigerian youths take to twitter to display their unwarranted hatred for the exited star by making the most crude comments about her death. I was in dismay as I saw comment after comment that made me mourn the loss of humanity in human beings. 

The social media in recent times has become a vocal medium for self expression for the younger generation. However, despite its numerous advantages, it has revealed the most depraved and psychotic mentality of the youths of this generation. This new found freedom of expression has given rise to unbridled and wanton display of stupidity by urchins of unregenerated ancestry. I was extremely shocked reading through the tweets of some persons who displayed the most extreme form of insensitivity and a total lack empathy towards the death of a young woman who rose above the challenges faced by youths in Nigeria today to succeed and make a name in the music industry.

These shamelessly ignorant lot who cowardly insulted Goldie fail to realise that whatever meaningless fame they have gathered via the social media will NEVER translate to any positive change in their miserable existence. The real world is out there and Goldie conquered it. Any doubt in her musical prowess will never belittle the fact that in her short life span, she achieved heights of success and is worth more dead than they will ever be alive.

This once again raises the issue of social media censorship. I think a sort of check should be introduced - probably an IQ test to reduce the influx of the unbelievable amount of retards on the social media. As Harlan Ellison once said; "The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity", it has become overwhelmingly evident on the social media.

For those who know better, the social media is a potent medium for image laundering and capability branding. I would advise the teeming youths of Nigeria to take advantage of it to sell their images positively - sell your image, your abilities, your talents and not your stupidity. The world slowly but steadily moving towards a time when your social media image will be attached to your personality and it will be a useful instrument for sifting the chaff from the real deal. Relevance is relative; you may deceive yourself that have attained a certain level of stardom by the number of followers you have on twitter but it will never amount to anything useful in your life. Contrary to what you may think, you are what you tweet and your tweets determines the kind of crowd you attract as birds of the same feathers flock together.

Be advised.

My most heartfelt condolences goes out the family, close friends and associates of Goldie Harvey. Her bright light was snuffed out too soon. May God grant them and indeed, her numerous fans the fortitude to bear the painful loss.

Malcolm O. Ifi. 

Photo Credit: The Internet

Sunday 10 February 2013

UNSEEN BATTLES

Only a fool debunks the presence of spiritual forces in this world. Even as mankind slowly gravitates to an age of logic and reason which seems to be earnestly relegating religion and belief in a Supreme Being to the background, it still doesn't discountenance the presence of supernatural occurrences and the existence of a natural order that presupposes the existence of a Supreme Being.

On a daily basis, battles are fought in the spiritual realm which invariably manifests in the physical realm. Because of the struggles in life, the allure and tangibility of the physical, there is the tendency to forget that all that really matters is resident in the spiritual and not the physical.

Why am I writing about this? I've had series of experiences in the past and even very recently that confirms this and I thought it would be great to share this. Have you ever been fighting and struggling so hard to achieve something when just as you get to the threshold of victory, mysterious and inexplicable things start to happen? This is usually a sign that there is a serious battle in the spiritual trying to manifest in the physical.
Most people just overlook them as a series of unfortunate events. This is so wrong! Only those who are spiritually in-tune realize that this is a grave battle. A battle that one must get actively into if one is to succeed in the desired endeavour. We, as mere mortals cannot see or know what happens in the spiritual realm but we must participate to assist the forces of good. We must participate with the only weapon in our arsenal; Prayer.

I will share a personal experience: I've been working on a big project for a while now and just as things started to look up, I discovered that some little things I never neglected to do, I mysteriously started to neglect them and they have turned out to be the most important things. Somehow, I managed to surmount these "little" challenges and have been pressing forward ever since. However, things got to a head two days ago when I nearly had a bike accident on my way home. This woke me up spiritually because I've never ever had an accident in my life before. Not that I'm special or holy, but by the mercy and grace of God so I prayed to Him for protection and guidance. 

Then this morning, immediately after my morning prayer which was to precede my trip to conclude my project, I "carelessly" stretched my hands beneath a ceiling fan and almost got my left pinkie finger decapitated! The injury wasn't so severe but it fired me up. I started to pray and I haven't really stopped praying even as I write this.

I decided to share this just in case someone has experienced something of this sort and is confused about what it means. It is the time to pray; pray without ceasing! Commit what you do to God's hands and be rest assured that victory is inevitable as the enemy is vanquished before your very eyes! The evil is felt but the faith is stronger!

As an addendum, say a word of prayers for the Super Eagles today as they face Burkina Faso in the finals of the AFCON 2013. We are long overdue for a nations cup win. Pray, believe and it will be so.
May the forces of good be on our side always.

Amen!

Malcolm O. Ifi.

Engage on twitter @saymalcolm









Wednesday 6 February 2013

THE BATTLE OF THE EAGLES

The Super Eagles In Training With Coach, Stephen Keshi
I have maintained silence on sports issues, particularly football for a while now ever since a dear friend began a sports blogs. He is an avid soccer aficionado and has been able to provide informative and a much more in-depth analysis of the beautiful game of football. Honestly, I am much more content to sit back and wait for him to write and publish, then I read. I encourage you all to visit his blog. He's got really awesome content . www.footynyx.wordpress.com

Anyway, I decided to jump out of my self-imposed sports lethargy to make a confession. Since AFCON 2013 began, I have watched just one match and that was Nigeria's final match in the group stages which saw the individual brilliance of Chelsea's Victor Moses hand to Nigeria a two goal win over Ethiopia which provided the much needed 3 points that ensured she qualified for the quarter final stage.

However, I feared that our luck and good fortune had finally run out when we were to meet the Elephants of Cote d'Ivoire which boasts of a true African Legend by the name of Didier Drogba and the current African Footballer of the year, Yaya Toure. I was afraid that the Eagles were to going to be stampeded by the highly rated elephants so I didn't watch the match but I monitored it closely on the social media and it was a pleasant surprise that the Super Eagles for once, lived up to their names by soaring high above the elephants.
Today, we are a step closer to the finals of the AFCON 2013 and also a step closer to the "losers finals". Having come this far, hopes are high that the Super Eagles will advance to the finals. It was reported this morning that our dear President had a conference call with the boys this morning to inspire them to greatness as they face the Les Aigles of Mali. I hope they get inspired, even if it is coming from a most uninspiring source.

I will be painting my face in our national colours after the close of business today as I intend to go all out in support of the Super Eagles of Nigeria and hope they emerge victorious against the Eagles of Mali. Win or lose, they certainly deserve some credit for coming this far as a new team under coach, Stephen Keshi.

May God be with them all!

Malcolm O. Ifi.

Engage on twitter @saymalcolm






Monday 4 February 2013

TIME CAPSULE



When you enter a banking hall in Nigeria, there are certain things you expect to see; especially if you frequent the banking halls of new generation banks. It is a fact that majority of banks in Nigeria invest a lot in the general aesthetics of the banking environment. It helps to create a friendly and professional atmosphere that is inviting to potential and existing customers. Even the dress code of the bank staff is usually admirable. 

So it was a mild shock - mild shock because the few times I've transacted business in this particular bank, I've never really been impressed with the general aesthetics and service. It was a shock nonetheless because I was in the Central Business District in the FCT. I had expected to see at least a change from what I was used to seeing in other branches nationwide. Unfortunately, it appears that the management of this particular bank has does not give a hoot about aesthetics.

On entering the bank, we were met by the security guard who used a hand metal detector to check me for any unwanted metal content. In other banks, the doors do that. I didn't pay mind to that but when I got into the bank's shabby waiting area, I was amazed. The first thing I saw that struck me as abysmally out of place was the TV - yes, you guessed right. It wasn't a plasma, neither was it a flat screen tv. It was the regular coloured box television. I was amazed but I didn't complain because at least, the really old school standing split units were functioning properly.
The next thing that struck me as odd was the dress code of the staffs. Though it was casual friday, I was still totally unimpressed. These people had no idea of what dressing well is about - both male and female. If there's one thing we know about bankers, its that they dress really well. These set of people got it totally wrong. Ill-fitting natives, dresses and even those who wore jeans were totally off point. I sighed and prayed our business here would be over soon.

Sadly, that was not to be. The server was down so I had to stay there for almost an hour. I didn't blame them - this happens frequently in most Nigerian banks but when one of the staffs decided to restart their computer system, I heard the most unbelievable sound. The shut-down sound of Windows XP. It was like being forced into a time capsule and suddenly, it was year 2000 again. How can a bank still use Windows XP in 2013 when its not a business center?!

From what I've narrated thus far, I'm sure some of you can make a guess about what bank I'm talking about. I shall not name names for obvious reasons. Any way, finally we got our transaction done and it felt good to get back to 2013.

I just wonder if the management of that bank ever attend business seminars on how to brand or rebrand your place of business. They seem totally oblivious of the competition who pay attention to aesthetics and branding. Well, I guess that the fact that they are still in business is testimony to the fact that their complete lack of aesthetic sense is not a major concern as it does not affect their business.

One thing is sure though. If I can, I will do everything in my power to avoid ever transacting business there in the future.

Malcolm O. Ifi.